So I just went to clean off our glass coffee table, for which I grabbed a bottle of spray cleaner and tore a paper towel off the roll. It was amazing, as soon as I tore off the paper towel it was if I could feel the connection to the tree from which that table came - me tearing a piece of life out of that tree in order to wipe down my coffee table. I realized a little more how disconnected we are from nature - from the awareness of where our "things" come from and how our actions affect the whole. My whole life I've used paper towels for little silly things - cleaning spills of water or juice off of the counter or floor, wiping coffee tables, eating a bagel or peeling an orange when I've not wanted to use a plate. This was the first time I really began to understand that when I tear a paper towel off of that roll I am impacting nature - choosing to use the gifts (or plundered spoils) of a living thing for my purposes. It's not that I feel we have no right to use anything from the natural world for desired ends, but I do think we should exercise some degree of prudence! I mean, a coffee table! Seriously. I don't think I need to contribue to logging, to deforestation, to some landfill somewhere, just to clean off a coffee table. So I went and got reusable rag and used that instead. Is that a perfect alternative? No. Of course not. There's still the probability that that rag originated in an outsourced sweatshop somewhere, and the awareness of the water and power I will use to wash it (among other items of laundry) in the near future, but as far as I'm concerned it's infinitely better than the one time use of a paper towel that is then thrown away. It's not a matter of whether it will make a difference in the world or not, it is a matter of living a certain way because I am aware that it is a better way to live - a more loving, compassionate, aware way to be in the world. A way that challenges the egocentric american sense of entitlement that I have inherited.
As far as other things I have mean to discuss - there is the matter of my future. So many possibilities on the horizon that, while it scares me to have this vacuous year of uncertainty followed by another one after it, I am grateful to have the next year to not simply continue on the inertia path I have been on. Time to think about PhD work, find a spiritual community, become involved in cooperative farming efforts, continue to examine the ways we live, work to get my book published, start paying back some student loans, read, etc. I guess the difference for me now is the ability to live in the ambiguities - to exist in the sense of process and not chase some illusory point of arrival where it is "figured out." Maybe I will pursue PhD work and academic possibilities; maybe I will puruse a degree at Naropa - Ecopsychology, or an MDiv; maybe a Christian MDiv. The thing is, I have many other existential things that are in process for me right now besides the ecological issue. It is true that things seem to come from and point back to ecology for me, but there are many more questions, many more explorations. This time away from claremont will give me space for that. It will also give me space for my wife, our marriage, my writing, and (hopefully) friendships. All of these I have, to some degree or another, neglected over the past couple years I have been at CST. One thing is certain - I am eager to move on from southern california - I am eager to be visit nature - to live where there are stars - hundreds of them that are visible to the naked eye. Thousands of them. I am eager to live somewhere that there are forests or streams or rivers or lakes. Somewhere there are open fields and hiking trails. For now that is all.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
DTV Box
I guess I should also preface the remainder of my posts by saying that I don't intend to censor my thoughts. If anything I say offends you or presses a button about a particular lifestyle choice you have (consciously or subconsciously) made or adopted, I am not sorry. This is exactly why I have created this blog, to help me work through the constant button pushing within my self. With that said...
"The shape taken by consumerism in the modern world, however, involves not just the multiplication of what you get, but the endless expansion of what you want." - Roger Gottlieb, A Greener Faith, p. 217.
Today I swung by Target and picked up a Digital Converter Box for our TV. We don't have Cable or Satellite or any special TV perks, so when they make the switch from analog to digital, we lose our tv, unless we pick up one of these little DTV converter boxes. So I did. Then I realized I didn't even think about it. Sabrina had the foresight and wisdom to get us one of the $40 coupons from the government to help us purchase the $50 box, so I figured, hey, only ten bucks, why not! I got home and realized I had just bought this thing. I had no idea why I had bought it other than the ingrained assumption that of course I would buy it!!! So the US decides to switch its TV from analog to digital and so some outsourced factory in China (yes it is made in China, I checked) that probably pays their workers, well, not much, now has to produced however many million of these little boxes. And we buy them all up. How long would I have had to wait to buy one of these used? A month? A year? How long till I could purchase one that doesn't perpetuate the cycle of economic and environmental exploitation caused by buying things that our modern society has brainwashed us to believe are "needs?" (And, I might add isolated us relationally, socially, spiritually, existentially, so that in a lot of ways, these stupid little boxes ARE needs. TV's have replaced families, supportive spiritual communities, working the land, etc.)
Once TV didn't exist. Then it did. Then it became a necessity. Then cable. Now maybe it is a shift from cable to satellite or Direct TV. People are always surprised when they find out we don't have cable. "How can you live without cable?" or, "I couldn't live without cable!" Really? Because I find it weird that when confronted with the choice of how to spend $30 a month - cable tv or supporting a child overseas who needs food shelter and an education, we choose cable. Or internet, or cell phones. Because while I might not have cable, I sure have a cell phone, and though we are blessed to have wireless access, if we didn't, we'd probably be paying for internet too.
So our whole society has progressed to the point where, yeah, cable is a NEED for a whole wealth of people! I bought this box. Why? Because it's tv. We're busy people who come home tired and want to "veg out." But instead of looking deeply into our lifestyle and refusing those choices that lead to the exhaustion and overwork, we buy boxes made in china and shipped around the world so that my spoiled ass can watch House. Really?
Six years ago this would have been filled with guilt, self-hatred, self-condemnation, judgmentalism of others to make myself feel better, etc. Now I'm just awed. I look at this system that we live in - and think about how, in order to stimulate the dying economy, we pump more money into the consumption machine. Tell people to buy more, stimulate the market. Sometimes it stops me short to realize that we have enough food and resources to feed and clothe the entire world. Why don't we? Loyalty to some economic, globalized system of capitalism from which we cannot de-entrench ourselves. There are people living on the streets, and I have extra food. But I have so many rationalizations about systemic, psychological issues that let me go along with my life that will be geared toward serving humanity as a whole, yes I don't know how to serve the person next to me. I feel unnerved.
Over thanksgiving I attended a church service in Greensboro. The (New Thought, mind you) pastor talked about how this economic crisis is a wonderful opportunity to reassess our values. It also is a wonderful opportunity to rethink what we mean when we say "prosperity," which is a key spiritual value in New Thought traditions. How wealthy is a country that has more food and toys than we know what to do with and yet we are still not happy. And every year tv commercials (that I just bought a stupid box so that we could continue to watch them) manage to convince us that what we have isn't enough and that we want or need more. In Peaceful Warrior (the movie - watch it if you haven't seen it) Nick Nolte's character asks the main character, Dan, "are you happy?" A gymnast who breezes through his college classes, is popular, "only sleeps alone when [he] absolutely want[s] to," and is on the brink of qualifying for the olympics. Yeah - but are you happy? No. Of course not.
Are we really the most prosperous nation in the world? Because everything I have heard from friends who have visited Kenya - even those who are struggling to survive - they are rich, they are joyful, they are prosperous (obviously not the whole country, but the specific Kenyan churches with whom my friends have worked).
So how do I disentangle myself - how do sabrina and I together, with all our differing desires, needs, preferences, visions for the future, etc., disentangle ourselves - from the web of consumerism, that to be "normal" you have to have a tv, a cell phone, a car (or two - or an SUV - or two), and on and on it goes. And what path do I pursue for my future that allows me to live integrously in a world gone wrong - and still to love that world, care for it, help honor it with my heart and soul and spirit? That, I suppose, can be the topic of my NEXT blog. Sorry, already, this was not short. Not even close.
Peace.
"The shape taken by consumerism in the modern world, however, involves not just the multiplication of what you get, but the endless expansion of what you want." - Roger Gottlieb, A Greener Faith, p. 217.
Today I swung by Target and picked up a Digital Converter Box for our TV. We don't have Cable or Satellite or any special TV perks, so when they make the switch from analog to digital, we lose our tv, unless we pick up one of these little DTV converter boxes. So I did. Then I realized I didn't even think about it. Sabrina had the foresight and wisdom to get us one of the $40 coupons from the government to help us purchase the $50 box, so I figured, hey, only ten bucks, why not! I got home and realized I had just bought this thing. I had no idea why I had bought it other than the ingrained assumption that of course I would buy it!!! So the US decides to switch its TV from analog to digital and so some outsourced factory in China (yes it is made in China, I checked) that probably pays their workers, well, not much, now has to produced however many million of these little boxes. And we buy them all up. How long would I have had to wait to buy one of these used? A month? A year? How long till I could purchase one that doesn't perpetuate the cycle of economic and environmental exploitation caused by buying things that our modern society has brainwashed us to believe are "needs?" (And, I might add isolated us relationally, socially, spiritually, existentially, so that in a lot of ways, these stupid little boxes ARE needs. TV's have replaced families, supportive spiritual communities, working the land, etc.)
Once TV didn't exist. Then it did. Then it became a necessity. Then cable. Now maybe it is a shift from cable to satellite or Direct TV. People are always surprised when they find out we don't have cable. "How can you live without cable?" or, "I couldn't live without cable!" Really? Because I find it weird that when confronted with the choice of how to spend $30 a month - cable tv or supporting a child overseas who needs food shelter and an education, we choose cable. Or internet, or cell phones. Because while I might not have cable, I sure have a cell phone, and though we are blessed to have wireless access, if we didn't, we'd probably be paying for internet too.
So our whole society has progressed to the point where, yeah, cable is a NEED for a whole wealth of people! I bought this box. Why? Because it's tv. We're busy people who come home tired and want to "veg out." But instead of looking deeply into our lifestyle and refusing those choices that lead to the exhaustion and overwork, we buy boxes made in china and shipped around the world so that my spoiled ass can watch House. Really?
Six years ago this would have been filled with guilt, self-hatred, self-condemnation, judgmentalism of others to make myself feel better, etc. Now I'm just awed. I look at this system that we live in - and think about how, in order to stimulate the dying economy, we pump more money into the consumption machine. Tell people to buy more, stimulate the market. Sometimes it stops me short to realize that we have enough food and resources to feed and clothe the entire world. Why don't we? Loyalty to some economic, globalized system of capitalism from which we cannot de-entrench ourselves. There are people living on the streets, and I have extra food. But I have so many rationalizations about systemic, psychological issues that let me go along with my life that will be geared toward serving humanity as a whole, yes I don't know how to serve the person next to me. I feel unnerved.
Over thanksgiving I attended a church service in Greensboro. The (New Thought, mind you) pastor talked about how this economic crisis is a wonderful opportunity to reassess our values. It also is a wonderful opportunity to rethink what we mean when we say "prosperity," which is a key spiritual value in New Thought traditions. How wealthy is a country that has more food and toys than we know what to do with and yet we are still not happy. And every year tv commercials (that I just bought a stupid box so that we could continue to watch them) manage to convince us that what we have isn't enough and that we want or need more. In Peaceful Warrior (the movie - watch it if you haven't seen it) Nick Nolte's character asks the main character, Dan, "are you happy?" A gymnast who breezes through his college classes, is popular, "only sleeps alone when [he] absolutely want[s] to," and is on the brink of qualifying for the olympics. Yeah - but are you happy? No. Of course not.
Are we really the most prosperous nation in the world? Because everything I have heard from friends who have visited Kenya - even those who are struggling to survive - they are rich, they are joyful, they are prosperous (obviously not the whole country, but the specific Kenyan churches with whom my friends have worked).
So how do I disentangle myself - how do sabrina and I together, with all our differing desires, needs, preferences, visions for the future, etc., disentangle ourselves - from the web of consumerism, that to be "normal" you have to have a tv, a cell phone, a car (or two - or an SUV - or two), and on and on it goes. And what path do I pursue for my future that allows me to live integrously in a world gone wrong - and still to love that world, care for it, help honor it with my heart and soul and spirit? That, I suppose, can be the topic of my NEXT blog. Sorry, already, this was not short. Not even close.
Peace.
Beginnings...
What is an ecojourner? For years I have used "sojourner" as a secondary screen name. As I sat thinking of this venture - my desire to record my struggles with understanding and living a life that is spiritual and ecological (indeed to live a life that understands the spiritual and ecological as one) - the name "ecojourner" seemed naturally fitting. One who sojourns with relation to ecology. A journeyer through environmental understanding, connectedness, activities, prayer, etc.
So that's what this blog is. It is the record of my thoughts - my understandings, or lack thereof, about things that pertain to the spiritual life and to the environment. For instance, how can I reconstruct my life from here forward so that I don't have to drive 35 minutes to school and back? Where do I go after I leave Claremont? How do I make sure the year before Sabrina's (my wife's) internship is not wasted, without trying to ensure its significance in some fearful ego-driven need to be productive or impressive to others (or to myself)? I'll stop here. So that people can actually read this post. And I will try to make my successive posts relatively short. Knowing me, that is probably an empty promise. But I will try.
So that's what this blog is. It is the record of my thoughts - my understandings, or lack thereof, about things that pertain to the spiritual life and to the environment. For instance, how can I reconstruct my life from here forward so that I don't have to drive 35 minutes to school and back? Where do I go after I leave Claremont? How do I make sure the year before Sabrina's (my wife's) internship is not wasted, without trying to ensure its significance in some fearful ego-driven need to be productive or impressive to others (or to myself)? I'll stop here. So that people can actually read this post. And I will try to make my successive posts relatively short. Knowing me, that is probably an empty promise. But I will try.
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