Anna Karenina

This is where I find myself:

"Levin knew that when he got home he must first of all go to his wife, who was not well, and that the peasants who had been waiting for three hours to see him could wait a little longer. He knew too that, regardless of all the pleasure he felt in hiving a swarm, he must forego that pleasure, and leave the old man to tend to the bees alone, while he talked to the peasants who had come after him to the apiary.
Whether he was acting rightly or wrongly he did not know, and not only would he not try to prove anything nowadays, but he avoided all thought or talk about it.
Deliberation had brought him to doubt, and prevented him fro seeing what he ought to do and what he ought not. When he did not think, but simply lived, he was continually aware of the presence of an infallible judge in his soul, determining which of two possible courses of action was the better and which was the worse, and as soon as he did not act rightly, he was at once aware of it.
So he lived, not knowing and not seeing any chance of knowing what he was and what he was living for..."

from Anna Karenina, p. 824-5.

This has been with me since the moment I first read it, and it is with me still.